Welcome to Roommate Confessions, the column where we share the worst stuff you've done to your roommate. If you think you can top these stories, confess your sins at the bottom of this page.

Your Hookah Pipe Cleaner Is My Plunger

You know how you think its cool that you never pay for any food or rent or bills? Well whenever the toilet gets blocked with crap, i use a pipe cleaner to break it all up and flush it. Yeah the same pipe cleaner you use in your hookah pipe, ever wonder why I won't smoke with you? - Anonymous

To my downstairs neighbors, I walked by your door every day and I always see that bag of trash that you can't seem to get the will to take to the dumpster. Well I got two confessions: I was the one that covered your entryway in eggs, they were about to expire so I figured I'd force you to clean up a bit. Second, I was the one that called the police and told them you were smoking pot, I didn't think they would actually arrest one of your roommates.... At least there isn't trash in front of your door anymore. - Anonymous

Hello little sister. When you left for spring break, I locked the dog in your room. with food and water and I left the TV on so she could be entertained. I know she's a dog, but she needs a spring break too, and she took full advantage by sleeping in your bed and pissing and shitting everywhere, and puking in your closet after she ate your cheetos. Well you've been back for a day now and you still haven't noticed you pig. Anyway, when I say stop using my son's baby wash as body wash and quit waking him up after I FINALLY get him to sleep, I fuckin mean it douche bag. - Anonymous

So as you know we don't get along very well and i can't have my boyfriend over when youre here cause you don't like him either. But its pretty sweet that you go home every weekend because bobby comes over, we pick the lock to your room and do it on every piece of furniture in there. And to top it all off he always finishes in your shampoo bottle. Every time you shower it makes me smile. Oh and i know your password to blackboard and facebook. Youve been going to classes all semester that i withdrew you from in November and you probably shouldn't message ppl on facebook about the abortion you had last week. I wrote a letter to your parents and mailed it out anonymously. They should be getting it today or tomorrow... - Anonymous

Remember how you were a whiney bitch and never did the dishes, or clean anything up? remember how your boyfriend basically moved in, ate our food and never paid rent? Well I remember! I also remember jerking off in the shower and whipe off any knuckle babies with your loofah. Good luck finding roommates in the fall - Anonymous

So you know how you told me you were on the Varsity Soccer team at our division 1 college, which happened to be a HUGE lie? Do you remember how you broke my $200 sun glasses and wouldn't pay for them? Do you remember agreeing to pay half the cable bill, which you have paid up to October for and it is now April? Do you remember lying to me about a million other things? I hope you do, because here is one thing you won't remember. When I get really drunk I come home, pull down my pants, and rub my ass all over your pillow. Thats right, and sometimes I pluck a hair or two and put it in there. By the way, I'm watching you sleep right now and I just cant stop laughing. Goodnight roomie! - Anonymous

I am truly at peace now. dude, last month when you replaced my coke with your tobacco spit cup and then filmed my reaction, I had to get even. So your sunblock...isn't sunblock. It's SPF Elbert Joe Juice. If you want to go American Pie Band Camp, so can I. - Anonymous

so i had this rommate and it was April Fools day so i wanted to pull a prank on him so i wrote him a note but it was from the perspective of one of his old teachers and it was about how he really never finished college and how he need to go back to college for a whole entire year. he was so pissed that he went to the nearest bar and got completely wasted. then after his horriable hangover(which lasted for two days) i told him that i wrote the letter as an April fools joke he didn't want to speak for a weak because he broke up with his gf when he was drunk but he forgave me and all is well now. - Anonymous

Hey Courtney, remember when we were room mates and you always left your nasty hair in the shower, came in loud and drunk at 3 AM when I had to go to work in the morning, and basically acted like a total bitch? Well, I just wanted to let you know that took pleasure in peeing in your shampoo, and scrubbing between my toes with your toothbrush. Enjoy bitch. - Anonymous