undefined

patronestaff / Shutterstock

Finding weed is getting easier with time (well, we'll see how the next couple years go), but even so, sometimes when you travel outside of your normal town or city it can be confusing and daunting to look for a dealer. The good news, however, is that there are delinquent pothead stoners like you all over the world, and no matter what location you visit, there's always a way to get your hands on a nug or two! Here's a guide on how to cop some herb in any type of town you find yourself in, small, big, or in between, man!

 

The Small Rural Town

undefined

cdrin / Shutterstock

Here's the deal with small rural towns - they can get REALLY small and REALLY rural. You might be thinking of something akin to a suburb as a "small town", but I'm tellin' ya - GET. SMALLER. We're talking towns that are mostly farmland, where are there's MAYBE one or two chain stores within driving distance, where they don't even have multiple McDonald's. There are a few things to keep in mind with places like this:

  • There is no one here. Like, seriously, there is just straight-up just a few hundred people scattered across a huge area. You're at an immediate disadvantage, because it's VERY unlikely there's any sort of thriving marketplace for pot here - and if there's even ONE dealer, their supply is very likely trash.
  • There is probably little-to-no law enforcement around - and what there is probably couldn't give a crap about some low levels of weed being smoked. Don't worry about running into any undercover officers (which is exactly what an undercover officer would WANT you to think...)

You need to be on the lookout for two types - disaffected teens skating or riding BMX bikes, and weirdo loners who won't let anyone near their sheds. The edgy teens (who HATE this stupid town, ugh!) might have some small amounts of pot they get from their cousin occasionally and might be willing to hook you up if you buy them some beer (assuming you don't get in big trouble for trying to talk to an underage teenager you've never met before, which is a risk). But the real hopeful bet is the weirdo loner - see, rural towns are good at growing stuff. They know crops - and there's a pretty decent chance someone has started growing some sticky icky in a growhouse, either for their own personal supply or to make a little cash selling to the edgy teens. If anyone's gonna have some decent pot and willing to part with it, it's this guy. The only problem? Small towners can be a little reticent to trust outsiders - especially outsiders who start knocking on their door and asking for drugs. That tends to make them paranoid - and a small towner who has a secret growhouse feeling threatened is not something you want, really, unless you like getting a shotgun aimed at you by someone screaming "GIT OFFA MY PROPERTY!"

 

Suburbia

undefined

Roschetzky Photography / Shutterstock

The nice thing about the suburbs is that they are just littered with shitty chain stores and restaurants staffed by miserable teens who can't wait to get chiefed on their break. This is no joke - every teen who works in fast food smokes on the reg (except those Chik-Fil-A dorks). Again, you have the issue of being a stranger approaching random teenagers and asking them for drugs (which can be risky), but most teens would just tell you they've got nothing or would actually help you out (you can usually spot the narc-teens from a mile away). Odds are they're either holding some amount, or can get you in touch with their dealer pretty easily (if you give them some money or something - teens are also inherently a little paranoid, so you should give them a REASON to trust you).

The main problem with weed in suburbia is its inflated price that stems from the fact that most people buying it are upper-class, ignorant and willing to pay a lot for bad weed. Here's a little secret though: there are probably at least three houses-per-cul-de-sac that are growing and distributing weed in this area. I know, right? It's around. Your best bet is to drive to the mini-mall where people do their shopping, get their haircuts, and see their movies, go to the guy or girl selling movie tickets, and ask her which house number to do a "special knock" on the front door. Enjoy, and sorry it's a touch expensive!

 

The Growing City

undefined

Ami Parikh / Shutterstock

You're in a small-ish, growing city, you don't really know anyone - so how do you get hooked up? You're worried about cops (which is fair), so you need to keep it lowkey and not randomly ask people in public. Here's what you do - order a pizza, offer the delivery guy a real nice tip (we're talkin' in the 50% range), and casually ask him if he's got any connections (and imply there's more in it for him if he does). Make yourself look as disheveled as possible so the guy doesn't think you're a narc, and you stand a pretty good shot of at least getting a phone number of a dealer to text. Of course, it may take a few tries to get a delivery guy who'll help you out, but in the meantime, you at least can eat a LOT of pizza.

Alternately, here's a tip: USE THE INTERNET. If you know the right places to look, you can pretty much find dealers anywhere in the world with pretty minimal risk. Not that WE know what those websites or search terms for major platforms would be, of course. But if you're willing to do a little digging into Reddit / forums / etc., you can probably find some starting points.

Or, just go back to eating all that pizza.

 

The College Town

undefined

EQRoy / Shutterstock

Weed is everywhere in a college town. Hover around the cafe where there's a slam-poetry session happening, or find out where the college Democratic Socialists meet and ask around. The guy with the Sanders 2020 shirt DEFINITELY knows what's up. You're gonna wanna also make sure you do everything you can to NOT look like a NARC, which is going to be the only difficult aspect of copping pot in a college town. Shave your face, don't wear cargo shorts and sunglasses, and have a hot take on Cardi B. Maybe work on your kickflip, and learn how to roll a spliff. But then again, this is the problem - there ARE a lot of narcs in college towns, so you may need to get a little more creative with how you go about looking for pot.

Here's an easy avenue (that works in plenty of non-college towns too!): create a phony Tinder profile, grab some images of attractive women off of Instagram, and swipe right on EVERY guy you come across. When you get hooked up with a few dozen, just spam them a message about being willing to pay for pot (use emojis though so it can't be used against you in a court of law, should it come to that). The hot lady photos were just to get your foot in the door - odds are at least one or two of them will be able to hook you up with some weed, and since you're paying, won't be TOO upset they're not hooking up that night. Give them a nice tip for the deception, and you'll be good to go.

Or just go hang around literally any bar on campus and ask literally anyone and they'll probably help you out. That might be simpler.

 

The Touristy Vacation Spot

undefined

Nacho Such / Shutterstock

Surprisingly, depending on where you are, this can be one of the hardest places to successfully score some weed when traveling. I know, right? The problem with touristy vacation spots is that they're littered with children, and lots of children means lots of anxious adults, and lots of anxious adults means a well-paid police force patrolling the area. LAME! To avoid suspicion, most dealers in this type of area will distribute weed as edibles, and the best place to find them is near a beach (again, the food service industry is your greatest ally here - find the people running the concessions stand, slip them some money, and ask if they can help you out). If there's not beach where you're vacationing, what the hell? You're gonna have to be cool with getting high by eating a lollipop, brownie, or gummi bear, and do your best to keep the ravenous children that surround you AWAY from your goodies.

 

 

The Big City

undefined

Sarah Marchant / Shutterstock

Delivery weed. It's the future.



FOR EVERYTHING ELSE:

undefined

guruXOX / Shutterstock

 

  • Use your ACTUAL FRIENDS for help - got a friend who knows someone in whatever small town or city you're visiting? Ask them to help you out and get you the right connection. People are inherently paranoid about this stuff (rightfully so - cops are notorious for spending way too much time to bust small time weed dealers), so making your way in as a stranger is a tough proposition. Use your actual network of friends and acquaintances, and your chances will be a LOT better.

  • Stick to states with legalized weed - it's genuinely an incredible experience visiting Colorado. Fresh air, incredible mountains (and lots of nature, in general), and extraordinarily convenient great weed with pretty much no legal restrictions hampering you.
  • Get a medical marijuana card - it's not that hard. Just need to get a doctor known for playing ball and the ability to convince them you've got anxiety, and you're good to go. And honestly, most people suffer from some level of anxiety these days (HOW CAN YOU NOT? HAVE YOU SEEN THE NEWS?!), so this shouldn't be too hard.

  • ENCOURAGE YOUR REPRESENTATIVES TO LEGALIZE MARIJUANA. For god's sake, it's INSANE that pot's still illegal in this day and age - especially as states like Colorado and Washington show that legalizing it has basically no negative effects AND lead to massive increases in state tax revenue, since they're literally just pulling money out of the black market and making it legit. It's safer, easier to regulate, and...kinda way lamer, if we're being honest. But at least it makes it a lot easier to find, so you don't have to approach every teen working at Taco Bell to see if their cousin can hook you up with some overpriced weed.