The Supreme Court ruled that cake makers could deny gay patrons. That law makes as much sense as if...

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1. They made gay sex is legal as long as you don't make eye contact.

2. In Hawaii, spit roasting was only legal at luaus.

3. In Alaska, bottoming had to be referred to as "Anchorage."

4. In Kentucky, they made gay people pay for everything in $2 bills because that is "queer money."

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5. In Chicago you could get arrested for flicking that sculpture, The Bean.

6. You could get kicked out of a bodega for ordering a 'tossed salad.' 

7. When describing a gay person in the news, you had to use gay as an adjective. For example, "He passed away peacefully in his gay sleep."

8. The welcome sign when you drove into a state said, "You are what you eat, that's why gays are assholes. Corinthians 2:17, welcome to West Virginia!"

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9. They made all gay men take birth control. (But then it backfired when it actually makes them so much stronger.)

10. When two gay farmers come to a business agreement, they have to cum in each other's hands and shake on it.

11. When a lesbian couple has sex before 3 pm, they had to call it a "lunch box special." And if there was ass play involved, they had to call it a "taco salad."

12. Men who bald in New Mexico are not allowed to be sexy about it.

13. In Georgia, satin was illegal for men; especially in kimonos.

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14. In Ohio, lacrosse was legally considered 'totally gay.'

15. A lesbian got kicked out of an Arby's in Minnesota for ordering a peach Snapple.

16. Whenever you ask for a hard cider, the bartender was required call you an anal magnet.

17. Everyone using Grindr in public has to announce "penis penis penis penis."

18. Mothers of gay children had to warn future midwives not to slap their newborn's butts, in case that's what turned them.

19. There were a length requirement for lesbian haircuts.

20. A gay couple could only be married if they're pronounced Chuck and Larry.


If you have your own ridiculous anti-gay law that might be passed pretty soon, feel free to leave it in the comments below!